never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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