I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
