thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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