sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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