am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
