I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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