Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
