I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize