part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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