if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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