i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
