dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
