How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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