the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
