real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
