there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
