I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
