white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
