Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
