btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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