I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
