YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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