So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
