Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize