ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
