So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize