He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
