We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
