Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Drunk is not a location!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
