she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
