so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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