Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
