i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
