I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
