i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
