I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize