last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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