Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
