I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
