marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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