the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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