oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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