I want to walk on stilts...naked
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize