What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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