Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize