I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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