D3 body, D1 cock
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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