just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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