Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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