She announced her abortion via fbk
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
