sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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