How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
