Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
