I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
