That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
