She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My vagina just recognized that song.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
