Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
