I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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