I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
