You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
