So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
we should paint friendship bongs
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize