My brain says no but my pants say off.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
