I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
