david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
