So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
