I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
