I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
