Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Four minutes until I can fart!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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