The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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