He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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